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Superior – Part 1

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A new comic written by Gribble and drawn by KP

What do you mean you aren’t going to help me cheat on tests or do my homework for me anymore?! If I get kicked out of college…
Wait! I meant it won’t be necessary! I’ve created an intelligence boosting formula!
I already used it on myself and according to this IQ testing app, my IQ increased from 123 to 144.
It says here that 100 is average, so if I’m average and mine goes up the same as yours it’ll be uh…
Whatever. Just give me the stuff!
Ok. The results are near instantaneous so just drink this and you’ll be smarter in no time.
Well did it work?
The formula did indeed work. Look at my IQ score.
265! That can’t be right! That would mean you’re beyond even a genius intellect!
I don’t understand! Why’d it work so much better on you?
I suspect it’s due to several factors, primarily genetics but also to some degree nutrition and…
Amazing. I now possess perfect recall as well. I can remember everything I have ever experienced. I can even remember speaking my first word as a child.
Uh… cool?
So I guess you won’t be needing me for anything in the future.
Hmmm… I can conceive of a few uses for you still.
Okaaaay… well I guess I’ll just get going then.
Oh, there is one more thing before you leave.
THANKS LOSER!
One month later…
I was a little surprised to get your message to meet here, I haven’t seen you around campus since you became a super genius. Anyway, why…?
You are here to take part in an experiment. I have created a formula that will give me a body to match my intellect. You are going to test it first.
What? No way, test it yourself!
Testing it on myself would be unwise, though not as unwise as refusing me.
Ok! I’ll do it!
I feel so strong! I need to lift something… now!
I’ve prepared a barbell over there to test your strength, it weighs 300 pounds.
Move pipsqueak!
Whaaa…?!
Hey!
Who the fuck are you calling pipsqueak you…!!
I’m going to fuck you up so bad you…!
Haha! It’s… ummff… really heavy but… ummff… I can curl it!
Oh I just remembered I have to be somewhere.
Yeah and I gotta drive you there.
Excellent. Everything appears to be within expected parameters.
Now to do something I’ve dreamed of for a long time.
I’m going to beat… beat the snot out of… you…
Ah the sedative I mixed with your formula is kicking in.
You’ll be wide awake in a few moments but that’s all I need to drink this concentrated version of the formula I gave you. Minus the sedative of course.
Oohh… starting to feel better.
Now for a test of my superior strength.
Hmmm I do feel a little resistance but perhaps a new test is needed.
What the…?
Hrrrhhhh!
No way!
It took some effort but that’ll do.
I confess to feeling aroused at the sight of my own body.
It’s not surprising of course.
After all, I am the greatest human to ever exist.
Superior in every way to all others.
So what are you going to do now?
I’m going to go home and masturbate for an absurd amount of time,
but first there’s one more thing I need to do…
THANKS LOSER!
Two months later…
Oh wow! This place is massive!
You’re late.
Well I wasn’t sure I was going to come but I was curious what you wanted this time.
By the way, I had no idea you were rich.
Please, with my intellect acquiring vast sums of money is simple. Now follow me to my research lab.
OH MY…! What is all this?
You wouldn’t understand most of it. Just don’t touch anything as I explain why you are here.
This planet is ruled by morons. So I have decided I will rule it instead.
But to do this I will need to be more powerful, unstoppable even.
Luckily I recently discovered a new form of radiation that I call Hyperion radiation.
Hyperion radiation has an interesting effect on DNA
and under the right conditions it can unlock dormant genetic markers that, for lack of a better term,
should grant super powers.
Wait! You want to expose me to radiation to mess with my DNA to see if I get super powers?!?
NOPE!
I draw the line at DNA and radiation experiments! I’m not going to be your lab rat this time!
OW! Let go!
I SAID I’M NOT DOING IT!
Do I really need to remind you of how much stronger I am than you.
Aaaggghhh my hand!
Now stand over there in front of the emitter.
Fine!
You fool! You’ve made me the most powerful being in the world…
NO…
in the universe!
You’re not going to become greater than me this time!
This feeling of power!
I’m never been so fucking turned on!
I’ll be back to deal with you in a moment but first I want to see just how powerful I am now!
That is an inverse kinetic energy barrier. It can easily contain a large nuclear explosion.
This won’t stop me! Not for long!
Yes I know. But it will slow you down long enough for me to make some adjustments and increase the energy output of this second Hyperion radiation emitter.
NO! I won’t let you surpass me again!!!
3… 2… 1…
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